Problems ! Who doesn’t have problems, everybody has problems. It’s a part of life. But not a lot of people know that for most people depression is too. You know the big difference of being sad and being depressed is that sadness is for a little bit and in the other hand depression is something you don’t know when will it end. Whether it is your parents getting divorced , not having a fatherly support , choosing wrong friends, regrets in life and waking up early in the morning not wanting to do anything with life and the pain just hitting you with full force each and every day. In my case being in depression, it was like being in another world. I would see others around me smiling, and enjoying things that they were doing. But I couldn’t be the same. There is always a part of me missing, lost and scared. Here’s my struggle story of being in major depression.
I am Kaushik, I am 20 and have been dealing with depression since I was 17. I wanted to talk to someone family , friends anyone but I didn’t know how . It made me feel lose confidence in myself , felt like I am weak and that I couldn’t handle any problems like before. Sad thing is that even if you wanted to have a conversation with someone it is hardly that people will understand the severity of the phase you are in. So instead of opening up I just shut the bottle up and pretended to be normal. Though I was in a lost sea of sadness inside I would never open up with anyone about it. It took a toll out of me. I felt like I was a burden on my family and friends. Everyday things flash up to like the waves hitting the cliffs.
It was hard, I stopped going out. Started avoiding people, doubted myself a lot and many more. Anything can trigger depression a broken heart, an ailment, anything. For me it first happened when I was forced to take something which I never wanted to and a lot I mean a lot of family burden. Being a son in a middle class family is a curse ofcourse. Then there were these financial issues, heart breaks and people commenting on my sexuality just because I hadn’t lost my virginity even after having many good looking female peers. One after other all these things over heated my brain. I was angry , sad and confused. My emotions began to disorient and void filled my life.
Depression is not a matter to take lightly. It is not something to dismiss regularly. Guys just remember that depression is hard to fight but it is possible to over come it. Remember that your not alone. You always have the strength to fight. It is going to be a long, tough and tiring journey, but it will only make you better. It isn’t just the normal blues of life. It is more than a simple stress or inability to handle things. If you come across a friend who is confused in taking decisions or hesitant don’t just keep criticizing him he might be struggling with something and is hesitant to open up.
To all the people out there with depression, you will have critics and supporters through out your journey in life. But ultimately it’s your battle and you can win it. Just hang in there and remember you ain’t alone bud.